My valentine turns one month old

How can that be possible? In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago when we brought Wilson home, but in others I feel like it was just yesterday. Now, I must be honest, this is as much a milestone for me as it is for him. I hope others can relate and I don't mean to freak out moms-to-be but that first week was really hard. There we were with this little creature that relied completely on us for survival, kept us up all hours of the day and night, and made me question myself constantly. Now I knew that this is what having a baby meant when we got pregnant, but something about the reality of it was overwhelming. I never knew that something so small could make me feel so inadequate. I second guessed everything I was doing, worrying that I would screw him up in the first week of his life. Not to mention that my body was still recovering from the birthing process, breastfeeding was painful and my emotions were so out of whack I started to feel like a crazy person. I would often just hold Wilson and pray to God to just get us through the first month. I felt that if I could just make it through the first four weeks then by that point I should have a clue as to what I was doing. Now, I know that I am probably being a little too honest about all this. People would probably rather hear how wonderful it all was as I basked in maternal glow, but that was not quite how it was. I loved Wilson more than I could have ever imagined the minute I saw him and I was so thankful to God for blessing us with a healthy baby, but that did not mean that it was easy.

However, it did not take me that month that I prayed for to get to my happy place. It took about a week and half. About that time we had established a routine, I had gotten to know this new man in my life and how to meet his needs, I felt more confident in my abilities, I just accepted that breastfeeding kind of sucks at first, my body felt better and my hormones settled down. I could have never gotten through any of that without the love and support of my husband and my mom and without the constant guidance of Him who listened to my prayers and often calmed my heart and nerves in those moments when I felt so frazzled. Also, thanks to everyone who dropped by and visited and to the various moms who I talked with who helped me realize that all that I was going through was normal. I found that knowing I was not the only one who felt that way those first weeks was a huge help so I hope that maybe this helps someone else out there.

Oh my, I just realized I have written a lot about me during this first month and it should be all about Wilson. So for your viewing pleasure here are some photos from Wilson's first month!

Daddy and his boysWilson's first bath (bath time is daddy time while mommy relaxes)Besides keeping his hand by his face this is Wilson's other favorite place for his hands while he sleeps
Tummy Time!

This is what happens when daddy is left to dress the baby

Go Steelers! (we didn't tell him how the game ended)

Wilson starting to smile at mommy (and daddy too :)

On a lunch date with my friend Keri and her daughter Blair